Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
