Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it hurts more in the daytime
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
