She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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