a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
