I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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