literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
