Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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