I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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