K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
