never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
