Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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