I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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