youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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