Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
