I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
