D3 body, D1 cock
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Boobs speak an international language.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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