this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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