worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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