your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
