I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
