There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
