I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
