Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
