Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
