I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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