his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
