Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
