I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
