so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
