I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
