I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
