bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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