Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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