Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
