You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
