I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
only you would photoshop your dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
