We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My first STD was from a foam party
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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