She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
