Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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