The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
