i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
