i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
