I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
two words: eviction party
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
