his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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