im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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