I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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