I hate all girls vehemently.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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