you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i have two assholes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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