Say something about gay babies.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
