Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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